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Thread: Yokos Tea making guide Step By Step!

  1. #1

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    Default Yokos Tea making guide Step By Step!

    Today im going to teach you all how to make a nice cup of Tea. So we can all enjoy one of Britains favourite pass times you will need the following..........

    1 - Teabag - Dont try and save on these. Buy a well known and reliable brand such as PG Tips and Tetly. Personally i prefer Yorkshire Tea bags and Twinnings are well worth a try

    2 - Water & Electricity supply

    3 - Kettle

    4 - Milk & Sugar (Both optional)

    5 - Teaspoon

    6 - Cup/Mug

    The Fill

    Take your kettle and open the lid. I like to let the cold tap to run for about 10-15 seconds before filling the Kettle up with the required amount. Rember filling up more than you need will mean a longer boil and waste of electricity! Plug your kettle in or sit on its base and switch on.

    The Prep

    Take your Cup and place 1 Tea bag inside. Try and make sure the inside of the cup is dry or your tea bag will get a bit soggy and look horrible pre pour! At this point you can add your sugar if you wish and some people even add milk at this point which basically is like milk suicide! Its so easy to misjudge pour to much and get the dreaded milky brew - unless you like it that way! Me personally i prefer no sugar and to add my milk at a later point but we will come back to that later in this tutorial.

    The Boil & Pour

    Wait for the kettle to make a click and this indicates the kettle has now boiled and ready to pour. If you miss the opportunity to make the pour within 10-15 seconds of the click i would advise to flick the switch for another quick reboil. As long as you have caught the flick early, your ready to pour. This is the most dangerous part in the art of brew making and i myself bare a scare on my arm from my early brew making days - 2 years old in fact when i pulled the kettle chord.........ouch! Anyway firmly grip the handle and with kettle in one hand and tea spoon in the other hold the kettle approx 6-8" above the cup and start to pour. Once you have experience and feel confident with the pour you can move on to a more advanced technique which involves slowly moving the kettle up and down by approx 2-3" whilst pouring but this is basically to show off your brew making skills. Once the cup is approx half full and the tea bag is afloat slowly stir the T bag creating a gentle whirlpool of darkness. Leave for about 20-30 seconds to enable the Tea leaves to absorb as much water as possible.

    The Squeeze

    Once your Tea has been left to stand for no more than 30 seconds its time for the final squueze. Take your Teaspoon and using the smooth back, pin your now soaking bag against the wall of the cup. Using the front of the spoon may result in split of the Teabag which if goes unnoticed can lead to Leaves in the mouth disease. At best you get a total tear and you have to start this process all over again! Anyway gently squeeze the bag against the side of the cup getting all that flavour out but dont over squeeze or your brew will become yukky and you will pull a funny face when drinking it. One last stir and dispose of Tea bag. Becarful not to drip all over the kitchen sides and floor leaving a trail of Tea Wee all the way to your bin or Teabag jar!

    Pour & Stir

    In my humble opinion now is the time to add your extras to your now well brewed nice cup of Tea. As mentioned i just like milk so by using the pour & stir technique i hold the milk approx 2" above the surface of the tea and slowly pour whilst at the same time stirring with the teaspoon once again creating a gentle whirlpool which if done right can slowly turn from darkness to the desired colour within a couple of seconds. Note how i hold the milk only 2" above the tea, this is to prevent splash back and over pour. Once final colour is achieved you can now add any sugar you may require. You might want to consider using a dry Tea spoon or you end up with sugary boulders in your sugar jar. Once added one final stir and your ready to enjoy.

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! thats nice!!!!!!!

    The Clean Up

    Leave for girlfriend to do after all there gonna moan about something anyway!

    Next Week

    Next week we will learn how to make Bacon on toast whilst making a brew at the same time where timing is everything! God! im bored Friday night and im writing this bollox!
    The Sweet Zone: Pruning & Topping Indoor Plants For Larger Yields

    "I gave up weed because i thought it was turning me into a lazy bastard...........it turns out im just a lazy bastard" - yoko2009


    ´´wert is god and i am his bitch´´



  2. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to yoko2009 For This Useful Post:

    fzzy head (01-05-10), Muller (01-05-10), Rafiki (01-05-10)

  3. #2

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    there was me thinking you had found a recipe for compost tea......silly me
    if you're retired or you ain't got a job and you ain't growing and smoking weed ,i don't know what the fuck you are doing!

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    pfft my method drunken tea making technique will destroy your weak manc tea making style
    prepare for battle!!!!!!

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    Very impressive description yoko2009 a highly detailed account I agree howeverI am a pre water milk person although there is an art to pouring just the right amount..... milky tea sucks...anyways the other bit you forgot was the milk chocolate hobnobs yum yum....
    The ultimate munchie snack

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    yoko2009 (01-05-10)

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    Dont make me laugh cock. ill put a cup of my finest up against your swill anytime using the Infamous Monkey Tea Making Technique


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    CockRoach (01-05-10)

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    Thanks fzzy. Yep got to agree Hobnobs are the bollox but im not into biscuit dipping. i like them with a brew but prefer to munch them dry. I tend to use the sip,sip,munch technique which i find helps keep a dry biscuit but wet mouth

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    fzzy head (03-05-10)

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    Teabag and sweetner in the mug before anything!!!!! Does anyone else have a special cup/mug for their tea/coffee to be put into? Mine is a large mug with black circles/lady & the tramp mug (fave disney badboy)/Army mug!

    Dont like it really milky or 'baby tea' as it gets called. A decent brew will do squire!

  12. #8
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    no more than 30 seconds!!!!! you might as well have hot milky water!it even says on the yorkshire box 3 minutes brew time for a full flavour and rich deep caramel colour!!yoko i can't say i'd drink your tea mate but the teqnique tutorial may help people just startin out lolage.tip.- add sugar after brewing but before milk.each molecule of water can only dissolve so much sugar and tea and you want as much as possible in solution,milk is just for attaining the caramel coloured loveliness factor and cool to sipping temperature.this may be advanced brew making but those out there who are proper hardcore ,like myself,will know what is good (my tea) and what is bad (yokos tea) .

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    How very dare you! 30 seconds is long enough before you start the squeeze and stir. 3 minutes must be for a large teapot which is an entirly new thread altogether. I hear Pikeys use your Tea to tar drive ways!

    GG, i have a simpsons mug that i love and hardly ever clean, my girlfriend goes nuts! i tell her to clean it if she doesnt like it and she does hehe

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    milk BEFORE HOT WATER?????????????????????????????? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE HAVE YOU NO DECENCY???????????????
    Amature tea makers need to use this and yokos method as they cant judge the right amount of seconds and swirls and squeezes need to make a great cuppa - i pity them
    cock

  17. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to CockRoach For This Useful Post:

    Adambomb (01-05-10), Shades Of Green (01-05-10), yoko2009 (01-05-10)

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