Men's Rules !

[BURNZ]

Man Rules


Finally, the guys' side of the story.

We always hear 'the rules' From the female side ...Now here are the rules from the male side.


These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered '1 '
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports: It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1... Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched..
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or motor sports

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.


__________________
Self Proclaimed "Master-Debater"

[Tosh]

here here!!!!

[Lemon King]

lol everything ok with the missus burnz?? funny read though,,,,,,its like camping lol

[CockRoach]

i agree with number 1.

[Pink_tiger]

let battle commence

[cannamancan]

It's all spot on m8 , nail on head.

[Pink_tiger]

Women's rules for men
TOP 30 THINGS TO KNOW ABOUT US!!!


1. Don't ever lie to us, we always find out.

2. We don't enjoy talking dirty to you as much as you enjoy listening.

3. Don't say you understand when you don't.

4. Girls are petty, get over it.

5. You don't have PMS; don't act like you know what it's like.

6. Saying something sweet might get you off the hook; doing something sweet will always get you off the hook.

7. If you talk about having a big dick, we know you don't.

8. Zit's happen to everyone. Yes, Mr. Perfect, even to you.

9. We don't like it when you act like Mr Big; we like it when you are Mr Big.

10.A system in your car only impresses your homeboys.

11. No matter what you say, your ex girlfriend is a pig.

12. It's good to be sensitive, sometimes.

13. If you did something wrong or even if you didn't, apologize.

14. Be spontaneous, dinner and a movie won't always cut it.

15. We are self-conscious by nature, we can't help it.

16. We are drama queens.

17. Fashion police do exist.

18. Don't ask us to give head; if you are nice you just might get it.

19. We absolutely do not care about monster trucks, or anything else you and your friends talk about, like: how much you know about the video games, porn, computers, Star Wars, etc.

20. Hugs and kisses must be given at all times.

21. We don't shave our legs every day, get over it.

22. Don't make bets about us, we always find out.

23. Shave - no matter how cool you think it looks, we hate it.

24. Even if you think it is cool to burp, fart, or emit other strange gases from your body, it's not.

25. Don't compare our breasts with Brittany Spear's, hers are fake.

26. It is not cool to shoot snot rockets.

27. We are beautiful, but make-up helps. (All girls love makeup, do not call us prissy or tell us we worry to much about the way we look for wearing it.)

28. We will always think we are fat so humor us and tell us we aren't.

29. It doesn't make you look cool to make fun of someone else.

30. If you ever beat us in a sport or game, it's always because you cheated, even if you didn't.

[Lemon King]

what ave you done burnz.....i think as per your rules which tiger has obv not read n jus dismissed lol we should jus hold the white flag up now....i do think its funny though, birds are creepers men acctually cant do it, try goin....baaaaaabessss it dont work, also birds need to realise when i say im hungry im hungry, when we wana sleep we wana sleep, n when i wana bloody shag....ill go see ya best mate!


looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooool i loved


18. Don't ask us to give head; if you are nice you just might get it

and the conrodiction between

21. We don't shave our legs every day, get over it.


and

23. Shave - no matter how cool you think it looks, we hate it

so you can be lazy but we cant??? reading that its surprising i even get a shag lol must be my eyes looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool

[Pink_tiger]

then you need to read this easy


The Women's Rules

The female always makes the rules
The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
No male can possibly know all the rules.
If the female suspects the MALE know all the rules, she must immediately change some or all of the rules.
The female is never wrong.
If the female is wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding which was a result of something the male did or said wrong.
The male must apologize immediately for causing said misunderstanding.
The female may change her mind at any time.
The male must never change his mind without the express written consent of the female.
The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
The male must remain calm at all times unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.
The female must, under no circumstances, let the male know whether or not she wants him to be angry and/or upset.
The male is expected to mind read at all times.
Any attempt to document the rules could result in bodily harm.
If the female has PMS, all the rules are null and void.
The female is ready when she is ready.
The male must be ready at all time.
The male who doesn't abide by the rules can't take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp.

[Lemon King]

ive read and understood but if that truely is the case tiger do you really wonder why after getting to this stage any other female becomes more attractive lol

all men are wimps, its why we dont put you lott in ya place, instead we jus sleep with the next one!! lol

i personally find treat em mean works, you can only apply all off the above if your confident youve got the geezer under the thumb...if you keep a bird confussed n wanting constant attention any attention you do give makes em feel well special....aint let me down yet!!! lol

EDIT: oh yea n tiger does your bum look anything like the one in my sig????