Thanks man, but I'm stoned, Not blind!!!!!

[stoneroz]

Right, here's what happened to me the other day.
So, I have a smoke, grab me glasses, and me dog and walk into town.
The scenario:
It was a real sunny day and I was blazed, so I had me real dark tinted sunnies on.

I had me dog with me, he's a propper mongrel, don't look like a dog even!!! He can't even walk on a lead well.

I'm waiting to cross at the lights,
there wasn't much traffic,
most people crossed when the lil' man was red!!!,
but, I'm trying to teach me dog some patience,e.g. we cross when I say, not just follow the crowd.
when,
a member of the public walks over to me and says,' would you like me to help you across the road???'
and I said, ' I'm ok thanks', so now I'm thinking, what a weirdo!!!!, maybe he just wants to hold my hand, lol.
He said' ok, I'm just trying to help!!'
At this stage, because I'm baked, it hadn't clicked in me head, that this guy thought I was blind and me silly mongrel of a dog is a guide dog.
As I walked away, something finally clicked, I turned aroung and said, 'thanks for your offer anyways!!!
I was chuckling all the way home.. Thats the first time I've been mistaken as blind.
Anyone got any similar stories.

[wigster]

Fucking classic! Made me giggle ....reminds me when I used to live in Montpellier - I had a job in a snack bar just off the main square but had to help the french boss decorate it before I started to sell the food...I had only just started the job and was very keen, so I used to turn up early to work in my rough clothes & sit out side having a cig waiting for the boss... this bloke came up to me as I was rolling a rolly, took it out of my hand, handed me a pack of tabs & about £5 worth of change, wished me 'bonne chance' & walked off! I thought he was a nutter until it occured to me that there were loads of homeless in the square all the time and he thought I was one of them! Bonus!

[Ganesha]

Heh! Classic!

I've experienced the opposite - my Father-in-Law is a VIP & registered blind. He has one of those fold-up white sticks & doesn't generally use it unless he's out on his own. Normally he just hangs onto one of us & we 'steer' him as necessary. He & the Mum-in-Law aren't very tall though & being elderly usually get overlooked when they're in 'those' situations - entering a restaurant/theatre/church etc. When this happens someone usually nudges him & says to deploy the 'secret weapon'. Out comes the white stick with a flourish & Voila! Everything changes. Snotty Maitre D's suddenly become obsequious; theatre usherettes can't do enough; nothing is too much trouble. They always get the best seats in the house despite only having paid susidised pensioner prices. Heh! Works a treat!

[Grub]

I did have a funny thing happen many years ago..

It was in the early 80's when women were dressing like wannabe Madonna slags and blokes were into guy-liner and perms... anyway, in those days i had long wavy highlighted hair as did most of the lads in our little 'clique'. Thinking about it, we would have made an excellent Bon Jovi tribute band. lol... One Friday night about midnight i was walking up the road on the way back from the pub, it was really quiet and the streets were dead... behind me in the distance i heard the sound of a big-bore exhaust and the unmistakable BOOM BOOM BOOM of the the shit dance music from that period. The car got closer and closer and slowed down as it got nearer, i thought 'Fuck here we go'... in that area cars full of lads pulling up and jumping guys on their own was an everyday occurence, so i prepared myself for a good old scrap. Anyhow as the car got close i heard shouts of "Oi gorgeous", accompanied by loads of wolf whistling. I turned around as the car pulled up at the kerb and with my deep voice simply replied "Alright mate".... I'll never forget the look on the face of the lad who was hanging out of the passenger window doing all the shouting and whistling, i've never seen a face go from being white to bright red in a flash like that before! He turned to his mate the driver and said "Fuck, it's a bloke". The car might have only been a little MKII escort, but that thing accelerated away like a fuckin' Ferrari!

That was enough for me to get all my hair chopped off a few days later.

[Br4d]

Fucking classic! Made me giggle ....reminds me when I used to live in Montpellier - I had a job in a snack bar just off the main square but had to help the french boss decorate it before I started to sell the food...I had only just started the job and was very keen, so I used to turn up early to work in my rough clothes & sit out side having a cig waiting for the boss... this bloke came up to me as I was rolling a rolly, took it out of my hand, handed me a pack of tabs & about £5 worth of change, wished me 'bonne chance' & walked off! I thought he was a nutter until it occured to me that there were loads of homeless in the square all the time and he thought I was one of them! Bonus!

lmao love it ,

[Br4d]

I did have a funny thing happen many years ago..

It was in the early 80's when women were dressing like wannabe Madonna slags and blokes were into guy-liner and perms... anyway, in those days i had long wavy highlighted hair as did most of the lads in our little 'clique'. Thinking about it, we would have made an excellent Bon Jovi tribute band. lol... One Friday night about midnight i was walking up the road on the way back from the pub, it was really quiet and the streets were dead... behind me in the distance i heard the sound of a big-bore exhaust and the unmistakable BOOM BOOM BOOM of the the shit dance music from that period. The car got closer and closer and slowed down as it got nearer, i thought 'Fuck here we go'... in that area cars full of lads pulling up and jumping guys on their own was an everyday occurence, so i prepared myself for a good old scrap. Anyhow as the car got close i heard shouts of "Oi gorgeous", accompanied by loads of wolf whistling. I turned around as the car pulled up at the kerb and with my deep voice simply replied "Alright mate".... I'll never forget the look on the face of the lad who was hanging out of the passenger window doing all the shouting and whistling, i've never seen a face go from being white to bright red in a flash like that before! He turned to his mate the driver and said "Fuck, it's a bloke". The car might have only been a little MKII escort, but that thing accelerated away like a fuckin' Ferrari!

That was enough for me to get all my hair chopped off a few days later.

ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa love it still laughing now , oi oi lmaoooooooooooooooooo

[Grub]

ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa love it still laughing now , oi oi lmaoooooooooooooooooo

LOL, glad it made you laugh mate... it did the same to all of my mates when i told em too. I had the piss ripped out of me for ages after.

[Br4d]

LOL, glad it made you laugh mate... it did the same to all of my mates when i told em too. I had the piss ripped out of me for ages after.

yea thats too funny , imagine how long the poor bastard got ripped by his mates for thinking you was a bird ,

[Grub]

Both him and me have no doubt tried to put the experience to the back of our minds ever since.... until now of course.

[J420]

Had me laughing good man, that is seriously funny shit.