Can't believe the day I have had
Unfortunately today @ 3 0'clock my wife rang me in tears at work to say that some scumbag from the council had removed my son's cross from his grave.
Apparently in their wisdom they decided to post a message on facebook (Council) to say they were sorry they had removed crosses from the cemetary as they had been there for too long and they therefore had removed them without notice.
Because of a number complaints they then stated they would replace all the crosses that had been removed.
But this evening due to further investigation on our part we have found out that the crosses were removed earlier in the week and dumped into a skip in our area but they have been destroyed.
Words from one lucky person this eve " I was fortunate to find my fathers steel cross in the skip and as it's made of steel its still useable the fact it had been removed was very distressful as it had been on his grave for 52 years. Unfortunately most of the other crosses that I saw in the skip were wooden and had damaged beyond repair. I feel devastated for the families who do not yet know that their cross has been removed and destroyed"
It was my deceased son's birthday last wednesday he was 6 month's old when he died and therefore there was a commemorative teddy bear on his grave, a child's birthday boy ballon, ceramic teddy bear and lots of fresh flowers. He died 2 years ago and we just have not been able to deal with the idea of putting up a grave stone just yet as this finally means we won't have him back.
I am so angry right now I am lost for words I just cannot believe that someone would see the things on his graveside and remove his cross with his name plaque on it.
I understand that they don't know his grandfather paid especially for it to be made by a memorial wood mason (who met my son in the short time he was not in hospital) and that no-one in the whole process said stop this is wrong.
How can this be right ?
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It cannot be right and is not right. I cannot comprehend how anyone would think it was ok to do that regardless of length of time something had been there.
I'm so sorry for what you are going through.
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im am lost for words mate, honest near in tear's here with angry for you, please please try find some heart and forget what these people have done, and please remember what you had a beautiful son.
i today my self have had part of my family lose twin;s 1 yr to this day. so feel you pain .
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That's terrible mate !!!
It can't be right that they can do that no matter how long a period of time it's been there.
I'd be kicking off BIG time and make sure some1s head rolled.
Hope u manage to get it sorted mate.
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They have removed a number of crosses not just ours.
Now there has been so much shit this afternoon they backtracked and said they would replace the crosses but they didn't know we have found out they had been skipped so how can they replace something that's damaged and I don't want their peice of shit as what we had was priceless.
Normally I am such an emotive person (lose temper first and ask questions later ) but this eve I have had to control myself so as to ensure my mrs (normally the quiet one but who has been destroyed by this) doesn't drive her car into the front of the council building just to f**k them off she is so angry.
They should have had the common decency to have given us some notice or a letter to state we were contravening the council policy. If I find out who made the final decision I will burn the cunt at the stake !!!
Fr fucks sake dude thats well harsh, i ould try and sue them for taking the piss (i wouldnt say that i would try criminal damage and stress) and then pay for a nice headstone.
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you have a good heart mate, keep it that way, your son is , and will be proud of you, he know's you are fighting for him , give peace for his father and mother. respect from me matey, if you ever nee a hand send me a PM and i be willing to help
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My thoughts go out to you, this sounds a totally thoughtless action
I had a quick search on google and do not think they can do this, and you could give them some serious trouble over this.
This is a document about unstable headstone removal (You didn't say that was the reason but it gives related information)
This states that to remove them (gravestones) they needed to have done a risk assessment and have a record of that. I would also assume they need to record where they dispose of anything.
It does state this is good practice and not a 'law' but...
They have said it was done without notice so they are in breach of these governmental guidelines.
Where a memorial has been deemed at immediate risk and work needs to be undertaken clear information should be posted in burial grounds. Notice should be placed on or near to these memorials, giving contact details and the period within which contact can be made. Where the grave owner is known, it is good practice to notify them to give them the opportunity to repair the memorial.
Here an news article from last year where there was an uproar when a similar thing was done
One from earlier this year where a guy took the council to court in Stirling
(hope these links are ok on here)
If it were me, I would get someone more legally knowledgeable to start looking into it for you. There is emotional damage to consider as well as the cost of replacing the cross.
"Give a man some grass and he'll get stoned....Teach a him to grow grass and he'll be stoned for life"
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This is my point really if it was a headstone they would have had to notify us and we would have had a certain time to respond and then if the council deemd fit if we hadn't responded they could have removed the headstone and billed us as we are responsible as it's our property..
But in this instance they have notified no-one and they have stolen our son's cross which was ordered specially by his grandfather (who is a vicar) and removed it from the graveyard and dumped into a skip.
If i went to the cemetary and removed some flowers tomorrow I would be arrested how can they be right ?
if I had my way I would fucking hang draw and quarter the prick's
Feeeling for you dude, just in excuseable.
Sorry for your loss.
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it is beyond my abilities of reasoning how anyone could do this or even consider doing it, all that you can do is refuse to allow this to taint your precious memories and whoever was responsible needs to really give his/her head a good wobble.
Originally Posted by geordieshaun
nobody can take your memories away and your son would be upset if this upset you so let that be your reason to pity the idiots responsible for this outrage.
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I am lost for words, literally I am speechless. What sort of sadistic, acerbic and sour person would authorise, contemplate or even go ahead with an act like this? One of the most disgusting things I have read in a long, long time. I'm sorry for your loss, mate, I can't even think how tough it has been for you. I lost a very close friend of mine when he was 17 and my cousin who was disabled died when he was 13 (he was born with cerebal palsy) and was so damaging to our family when he died. I can't even begin to imagine what would happen if his grave had been vandalised like your son's has, it is a disgrace beyond words.
Go to the media imo!!
I hope you're ok mate and rest in peace little one.
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its just fucking sick that mate n thoughts are with you
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sorry to hear that mate, they need strung up on a cross for doing such a sick thing, some things just can,t be replaced, i,d demand a full enquiry into what has happened and get the local newspaper to put pressure on them for one
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ARSEHOLES is all i can call them sorry to hear about your distress mate but its good that you brought this to peoples attention hope yous get over this
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This is sad m8 my thoughts are with you.. Hope you get some sort of compensation... Shame on them scum councils..
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Thoughts are with you mate, this is so wrong. I don't normally give hugs and kisses out to strangers but from one parent to another I'm really feeling for you and your Mrs.
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Thanks for you messages of support everyone it's all I can do to stop myself from going down there and burning their fucking building down . I have a mate who drinks in the same pub as one of the council cemetery team hopefully he steps into the pub today as he is gonna get a fucking proper slap if he don't tell me where they dumped them
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Sorry to hear about your loss Geordie, I can't imagine the pain you must be going through
Its made me feel sick that they would do that!! Fuckin wankers!!!
Nothing can replace that cross either, gutted for you mate, I hope you and your family are compensated for this monumental fuck up!! I know it won't bring back the original cross made by the man who met your son, but hopefully they replace it if not more
Thoughts are with you mukka
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