Anyone feel slightly mentally unstable at times . . .

[bigbadbillybob]

I am feeling that im gettng less patient/ more wound up, now that im getting older.
I have a decent enough paying job, but i fucking hate it, and the people i have to deal with, a shower of back stabbing brown nosing fucking arseholes, who would snitch/ stitch you up as soon as look at you. I have been here for 7 yrs, and would love to do something else. I find myself getting so angry with some of these tossers that i have to deal with that i have to stop myself from taking thier heads off. I get so wound up i can hardly breath, and go red in the face with sheer fury. I feel it building up, and have to take myself away from these situations, and have t o keep reminding myself that i have a mortgage to pay, and i cant hit them. I have feelings of worthlessness at times, as, altho i get decent money, by the time i pay the mortgage, bills,, maintennce, and my ex-bitch's credit card debts, that she kindly made me add to the mortgage, (13 fucking grands worth) shortly before i left her, i end up with less than 250 quid per month, for food and petrol etc. Now i know there are people worse off than me, but it just gets me down some timesI have to admit that i think about life more than i used to, and that small things can make people happy, like a beautiful sunset, or a baby taking its first steps, .
I think i am suffering from stress, but cant see a cure, docs are a waste of time, dont know how peoples minds work. i have seriously thought about going out in a blaze of glory, and going back to working for myself, but am not really fit enough to go back on the tools, and there isnt exactly a lot of construction jobs about.
Maybe ive just got a bad attitude i dunno. But im finding it harder to make any new friends, because i'm being too negative.

Hey ho, soldier on. Im concentrating on my grow, and think i will need a fooking huge spliff when its done.

[Dr Scrogger]

Im not sure if Im suffering from stress or depression but I know I shouldnt be thinking the way I do. A few weeks back I convinced myself my mate didnt like me anymore, Ive been feeling like my boss/mate was gonna sack me, my wife had had enough of me. Im getting angry over things that dont matter yet let bigger things slide. I worked for two weeks with a broken foot before the pain became too much and I realised I needed to go to the hospital. I cry for no reason sometimes and feel like crying right now. This shit is hard man. Ive never thought about killing myself but thoughts of how I could if I did want to have been popping in my head recently. I dont wanna feel like this anymore

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[KiefKat]

Sarge, do yourself a favour and go see a doc. From your last post I would say you ARE depressed. Long term stress will bring on depression and it can be next to impossible to pinpoint what you're stressing about while depressed. I'm speaking from personal experience (10+ years of on/off fighting depression). Like you I randomly get thoughts of how to end it all, but won't go down that path if only for how it would impact on my wife/kids/friends and family. I have also questioned why ANYONE would want to have anything to do with me. It's all part of the disease. Mental illness is one of the worst things someone can experience, externally you seem fine to a casual observer while internally you're falling apart. I know you stated earlier that you were against taking anti depressants, but surely taking them for a few months could only help?
I hope things get better for you soon, it can seem like it's never going to be good again but it does get better I assure you. I would PM you but I haven't enough posts up yet.
If you ever need someone to listen and give impartial advice don't hesitate to contact me.

[Dr Scrogger]

Sarge, do yourself a favour and go see a doc. From your last post I would say you ARE depressed. Long term stress will bring on depression and it can be next to impossible to pinpoint what you're stressing about while depressed. I'm speaking from personal experience (10+ years of on/off fighting depression). Like you I randomly get thoughts of how to end it all, but won't go down that path if only for how it would impact on my wife/kids/friends and family. I have also questioned why ANYONE would want to have anything to do with me. It's all part of the disease. Mental illness is one of the worst things someone can experience, externally you seem fine to a casual observer while internally you're falling apart. I know you stated earlier that you were against taking anti depressants, but surely taking them for a few months could only help?
I hope things get better for you soon, it can seem like it's never going to be good again but it does get better I assure you. I would PM you but I haven't enough posts up yet.
If you ever need someone to listen and give impartial advice don't hesitate to contact me.

Thanks mate. Im havin a good day today tho Ive spent most of it on my own. Gonna go see a mate in a bit tho

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[mc6pack]

I was an extremely angry teen then I mellowed right out, now my kids drive me crazy and i'm wound up and angry alot of the time, no patience lol. I love my life though, everytime I step back and look at the big picture i'm just about where I want to be.

[sawyer68]

If you are feeling depressed or going crazy:

1. Forget about antidepressants, they might tip you over the point - and there is no "game over, play once more?".

2. Dont start exercising violently if you have been sitting on your ass for the last 10 years. Start easy with walking only, twice a day if possible, morning and evening, 10-30 minutes. Smell the flowers and love it.

3. Check your food intake - death definitely starts in the intestines. Go juice fasting for a week if you feel really bad, nothing else may clear the mind as good fasting with special nutrient intake. It is all about controlling everything that you take into your body, only when you have that in place, you can start worrying about your head.

4. If you feel like going nuts, realize that something is fucking up your mind, and it may well be all the shit thats in your food and in your environment. You gotta deal with it, cause you need your body to work very good, so you can think clearly. This is a life or death issue, so dont cheat. You deal with it by not letting those emotions take over - they are not reality, but fucked up because of bad chemistry, probably because of - you guessed it - all that synthetic chemical shit. So - that madness is not coming from you, and what you feel is not real, just a temporary hiccup. Dont fall for it. Postpone all important decisions to another day. Relax and forget. Go to next day.

[H.G.A]

i was in a similar situation re my job. I gave it up and went back to college, now on the verge of getting a degree in design, which I love. Also taught myself to cook in my spare time (have loads after giving up my shitty full-time job). Feel great and am about to start up my own business in the food business, and will obviously be designing all the shit that goes with it too.

My advice is to sell the car, sell the house, sell the kids and the wife, and start doing something you care about

would defo agree with sawyer above when he talks about the importance of food and diet

....and remember, weed aint the solution, even tho it feels like it when your on a upper!!!!

[cygnusa]

I'm fighting with similar crap myself. On citalopram due to frightening heart palpitations brought on by anxiety/stress. A few emergency room visits, chest scans, etc, forced action on my part. When it affects daily life it's a serious quality of life issue..

Citalopram has sort of worked for a while, but but a few j's each day seems to really help keep anxiety in check. Which actually brought me here to this forum to begin with... pharma meds alone didn't work for me and it's dumb to pay street and the potential bull connected with that.

Between that and the wife's bipolar nature, I barely manage. Barely is an understatement. I'm either guy #1 or enemy #1 based upon the days mood. . I just hide or not based upon the moment. I I'll just say it sucks for ones mental state to be stuck between a kid and a wife who flips from love to hate on a dime.

Anyway. I'm hoping some hash brownies can calm the situation when my first grow wraps up in a few months. Haha. The wife is still a canna virgin... I should see how it may affect those with bipolar tendencies. Hopefully a positive.

[Alterego420]

I think all sorts of bad shit I really shouldn't be thinking. Advancing old age with no real future ahead of me, my new social status of Precariate, plus the state of this cuntry [sic] and the way the cunts run it are all adding up to prison in my future. I just hope that whoever I end up taking it out on *truly* deserves it

[RastaMouse22]

meh get down occasionally.. i just ignore it till it goes away lol