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Thread: share ur jokes here

  1. #6141

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    Quote Originally Posted by budfarmer View Post
    well if you think thats bad, i took MY wife and HER sister went to weight watchers the other night ....i opened the door to where they were all gathered and threw in a big handfull of malteesers all over the floor ......... best game of hungry hippos ive ever played .....
    MY wife and sister had already quit weight watchers, so I took them to KFC and they ordered a bucket of chicken, and when they asked what size, they said the one on the roof

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  3. #6142

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    I've been with my wife for about 3 years now and I'm starting to have erection difficulties.

    My Wife and I have different views on what the cause is :-

    She bought me some Viagra...

    I bought her a treadmill...

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  5. #6143

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    I knew a local family whose daughter was massively overweight and very unnattractive. I remember one day her mum came and spoke in assembly, explaining that her daughter had hanged herself last night as a result of the constant bullying...

    The whole school was in shocked silence until one lad shouted out, "fuck, that must have been a strong rope"

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  7. #6144

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    Before sex, you help each other get naked.
    After sex, you dress only yourself.

    Moral of the story: In life, no one helps you once you're fucked.

    Jacob

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  9. #6145

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    Seen a bloke the other day at the cemetery balling in front of a head stone as I approached him I could hear him saying, why did you leave I wish you would come back I can not cope, I asked him if he was ok and who he was talking to he replied this is my wife’s ex husband


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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  11. #6146

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    Teacher says to class today is poetry day when I pick u out I want you to stand up and give me a poem with the word pistol in it.
    Molly your poem pleas
    (Molly) my daddy is a police man he has a suit of blue he Carries around a truncheon and sometimes a pistol to.
    (Teacher)paddy your poem pleas
    (Paddy) my daddy is not a police man he has no suit of blue he's at the pub at ten n he's on the PISS TILL TWO

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    What do you get when you eat cannabis?

    A pot belly.

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  15. #6148

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    My neighbour knocked on my door in the early hours this morning.

    He said, "Your car alarm has been going off all night mate. I've got to go to work in a few hours and I've had no sleep."

    "Stop worrying," I replied. "I've got a steering lock on it!"

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    "Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet."

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  17. #6149

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    What do you call a magic dog?

    A labracadabrador

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  19. #6150

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maccajuana View Post
    What do you call a magic dog?

    A labracadabrador
    This is one them jokes that's so shit it's funny

    Sent from my Pixel 2 using Tapatalk
    Never rub another mans rhubarb

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