share ur jokes here

**Captain Beefheart** · 17-09-17, 12:21 AM

2 flies feasting on a cow pat all of a sudden a 3rd fly lands onnit...the first 2 flies say yo bruv where have you been ? he replied ive been on the sick

**carpetburn** · 20-09-17, 10:05 AM

My wife and I went to the auction mart at Tralee the other week and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said,
'THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR'

My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs ......smiled and said, 'He mated 50 times last year, that's almost once a week.'

We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said,
''THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR'

My wife gave me a healthy jab and said, 'WOW~~That's more than twice a week ! ...........You could learn a lot from him.'

We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters,
'THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR

'My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, and said,
'That's once a day ..You could REALLY learn something from this one.'

I looked at her and said,
'Go over and ask him if every time was with the same old cow.'

My condition has been upgraded from critical to stable and I should eventually make a full recovery.

Click image for larger version.

Name: hosp.jpg
Views: 72
Size: 32.5 KB
ID: 350892

**Trex** · 22-09-17, 10:05 PM

Americans will eat anything , you can put sauteed Raccoons assholes on a stick and Americans will eat em up ,dipped in a bit of butter...

My Organic Journal 😉

https://www.thctalk.com/cannabis-foru...d.php?t=163164 🌱

**carpetburn** · 01-10-17, 09:44 AM

Two Irishmen flew to Canada on a hunting trip. They chartered a small plane to take them into the Rockies for a week hunting moose. They managed to bag 6.

As they were loading the plane to return, the pilot said the plane could take only 4 moose.

The two lads objected strongly.

"Last year we shot six. The pilot let us take them all and he had the same plane as yours."

Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded. The plane took off.

However, while attempting to cross some mountains even on full power the little plane couldn't possibly handle the load and went down.

Somehow, surrounded by the moose bodies, only Paddy and Mick survived
the crash.

After climbing out of the wreckage, Paddy asked Mick,

"Any idea where we are?"

Mick replied

"I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year"

**petepot** · 10-10-17, 05:02 PM

Click image for larger version.

Name: photo_2017-09-25_17-13-59.jpg
Views: 71
Size: 30.5 KB
ID: 351715

this picture gets me every time

**Fwank** · 11-10-17, 07:10 PM

A few for you lot!

**M_C** · 12-10-17, 12:17 PM

A five year old girl was usually driven to school each day by her Grandpa but one day when he had a bad cold Granny drove her instead.

That evening the little girl told her parents that the ride to school was very different.

Why was that her mother asked.

The girl replied: “Well Granny and I didn’t see a single tosser, blind bastard, foreign prick or wanker anywhere on the way to school today”