share ur jokes here

**B.A.BARACUS** · 23-03-13, 03:01 PM

I was asked to run a marathon and I said no chance.

Then I was told it was for spastic and blind kids and I thought 'Fuck it. I could win that!'

**carpetburn** · 23-03-13, 04:33 PM

Treated theMrs to one of those new fish pedicures earlier, and must say I was quite pleased with the results.

Those piranhas don't mess about lol

**Sensi Head** · 23-03-13, 07:27 PM

Daugther: dad i'm a lesbian.

Dad: it's cool.

Second daughter: i'm a lesbian too dad.

Dad: christ does anyone like cock in this family?

Son: I do.

**jericho** · 24-03-13, 03:40 PM

I asked our lass for a little oral relief last night.
"you want me to suck you off?" she asked
"No" I said " just shut the fuck up for 5 minutes"!

**Dr_ONE** · 24-03-13, 04:04 PM

I just swallowed some scrabble tiles......my next shit could spell disaster!

**Dan69** · 24-03-13, 04:35 PM

Finally got the mrs to go to the docs about that weird thing between her tits..............
Turns out it was her belly button

**B.A.BARACUS** · 24-03-13, 08:15 PM

"I've got a new nickname for you," I told my wife today.
"What is it?" she asked.
"Bambi," I replied.
"Aww, is that 'cos I've got beautiful eyes?" she asked.
"No, it's because I've just killed your mum," I replied.

**B.A.BARACUS** · 24-03-13, 08:18 PM

One for the Yorkie lads.

My Yorkshire mate, Jack, turned up late for work today.

I said "Ejaculate."

**Spiked** · 24-03-13, 10:24 PM

A man and his four year old son are talking, when his son asks him "Dad, what does a pussy look like?" The Dad confused, asks him " before or after sex?" The kid says "Ummm before sex" So the dad says to him "Well have u ever seen a beautiful red rose with soft red peddles." "yeah" says the son."well what about after sex" he says to his dad. His dad replies " Have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise"

**Spiked** · 24-03-13, 10:31 PM

After hearing a couple's complaints that their intimate life wasn't what it used to be, the sex counsellor suggested they vary their position. "For example," he suggested, "you might try the wheelbarrow. Lift her legs from behind and off you go." The eager husband was all for trying this new idea as soon as they got home. "Well, okay," the hesitant wife agreed, "but on two conditions. First, if it hurts you have to stop right away, and second..." she
continued, "you have to promise we won't go past my parents' house."

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