View Full Version : Bum! 99 to 2, my move and I'm shaking the dice...

03-12-13, 04:43 PM
Snakes and ladders anyone? I could use a game right now...

I've been here before and although I'm not an overly avid THC'er, I've stuck around and the community here have helped me before. When I thought I had nothing (I didn't have nothing, I was being waaay too dramatic at the time) I sat by my fishpond in the sunshine and forced myself to think; what have you still got? Let's think positively, the guys on THCT came through for me then and things didn't feel so bad.

It's happened again! My boss turned into a total penis and made me 'redundant'... yeah right. 'restructuring'... yeah right.
I seriously need to address this issue;
Is it me? - I can accept that it could conceivably be faults on my part, if it can be objectively demonstrated.
Can we blame weed? - With any luck... no. I seriously doubt it, but then I would.

Here's a brief run-down of the situation, down on the ground in the long grass where Snake lives.

Sore back, tired... oh yeah; HIV, er... depression, asthma. Not bad really, we can work with that. If you've not got your health, you really are in trouble. Look after yourself stoners, I'm serious.

Well I've still got a roof over my head, many people both around the world and in my town can't say the same. It turns out I've got an overpayment on my mortgage and it's worth about 7 months of repayments... fuckin' bonus! That should keep me warm(ish) and dry, with somewhere to keep all my stuff until I can land myself a new job.

I discovered my outgoings have been exceeding my income, not my much, but for about 9 or 10 months. Enough to slide right up to my overdraft limit at the exact moment I became jobless. It couldn't really be much worse. Credit card, yep; holiday in January. I don't have any savings.
My M&D saved my useless arse here. They bailed me right out and they can't afford it since they retired. I feel terrible, I'm so ashamed, I love them so much and they taught me better than this.
The bloody dog decided to have a skin infection too and Mum just took us to the vets and got it sorted for me... right now I don't feel as if I deserve parents like this. I'm 38 ffs! I should be able to do this. I've been trying to figure out why, I think it's because I've not had a stable relationship - ever. Right from the age of 25, I keep going back to being 20 and living those five years again. Instead of having a stable relationship for that period, where you have shared goals and something to aim for together. I've been going on benders and partying it up for almost 20 years when I should have been consolidating my situation (now ya' tell me!). Truth be told, I'm the luckiest man walking this earth to be here, now with what I have got - I've always thought myself luckier than most despite my woes.

I've still got my Scrumquat and we do have plans to move in together, rent my place out and.... who knows. My Brother and Sister are brilliant as are their respective spouses. My little Niece just turned 1.
I don't have any friends. I'm a bit of a misanthrope there - most people annoy me with their proudly displayed stupidity and conspicuous over consumption of luxury products and services. So you see that THCT is important to me, even if I'm not around all the time.

Any tips from anyone who's been this way recently, benefits and stuff I don't have much of an idea about. I've signed on and we'll see how that plays out. I'm gonna touch up my cv tonight and tomorrow, then get it out there. I don't imagine there will be a lot doing before Christmas, but I might be able to get some seasonal work.

Of course I've got a grow on the go, three plants, auto strains in coco under the 400w with the parabolic shade. they are in their seventh week - maybe 47 days. I've had to tweak the temps down to 18 degrees to save a bit of consumption - I'm wondering if I should reduce them from 18hrs of light... or worry less.

It really isn't ALL bad - we knew Bob was right; every little thing, gonna be alright.

03-12-13, 05:23 PM
it sucks balls mate i know, got made redundant in june 2011 and haven't worked full time again since. don't even get the dole as the wife works(cunts), so much for paying taxes for the last 24 years! if you are single you can get the interest on your mortgage paid after 6 months, which will sort you out once the free months are used up.
you should also get your rates/council tax paid for you straight away.

apart from that, if you are fit and healthy(by this i mean if you can walk and talk) you get fuck all squared.
benefits are now capped at £500 a week, i'd love to know who these fuckers are that are getting so much, and more importantly HOW?

03-12-13, 05:26 PM
you get the full atos points if u got ibs ie ur full of shit and the hole is out if control :cowboy:

03-12-13, 06:19 PM
I'm sorry to hear your having a shit run just now buddy, stay positive dude. Get your CV out there something will come up.

03-12-13, 09:14 PM
Good stuff fellas. It's funny how avatars and usernames have become like the faces of old friends.

All I know Grandad, is that they aint there to do anyone any favours. It's better than nowt though. I'll not be entitled to much help from the government, I don't think they give you even council tax benefit any more - they give you 'help' with it. Nobody rides for free eh.

Fuck knows what an 'atos point' is SW, but you could well be right about me being full of shit! Not sure about my hole - I'm pretty sure I've still got full control of my holes... all of them ;o)

The cv's next on the list mate - I'm getting a letter from my old employer tomorrow, can't wait to read that! I bet he goes back on his word of making me redundant. The problem is he only told me in a room with only me and him present - no witnesses. He's an idiot for doing that but i wonder if he's going to do something dumb again, like change his mind and remember something that can be dressed up as gross misconduct. To my mind he's totally fucked this up, right down to the dates, the way he's done it... I can feel an Employment Tribunal coming on. Mind you, I'd rather just get my dues and move on tbh, hopefully he will too.

I've just been to see my bro and his wife so I could watch the night garden thing with my niece. Had a good chat with my bro, putting the world to rights. My Sister-in-laws half brother was over from down-under too, he's flying home tomorrow. Bless him, he's about 20 and growing a little beard... I gave him a shaver to look after it, he was quite chuffed that someone he's barely related to would give him a 50 quid shaver. Made me feel good too, that's increased my karmic credit a little bit.

04-12-13, 06:37 PM
I can't remember if I got out of bed at 0900 or 1100 today, the hours are melting away in front of my eyes whilst I appear to be achieving very little. I saw 0300, so in actual fact I got a sensible amount of sleep. It's just not at the proper time. The sleeping tablet I took at 2130 didn't work, probably because I had an energy drink at about 1800... duh.

Now I should be cooking my dinner or working on my cv but I'm procrastinating further by updating this... it turned out to be quite cathartic, writing down some of what's going on feels like something I want to do.

The redundancy letter from my employer came today, he looks as if he's got his sums right so I'll have some money coming in, but some of the dates are wrong - I think he's done it to ensure I'm not entitled to my bonuses as stated in my contract... we'll see how that plays out. I'm not wasting energy on thinking about that today.

Scrumquat did her exam today and is now a lot more like my g'f again, she'll worry herself to dust that girl. My situation hasn't helped lately, but we're still good. I picked her up from the station, took her back to hq and I'd barely got her in the door before she jumped on me... she's definitely less stressed, mmmm

Mum's picking up her new chickens today, so she came over to collect a couple of boxes to transport them in, she took my curtains away to run them through her magic sewing machine too. They are too long and I want them shorter, dragging curtains on the floor might have been 'in' once-upon-a-time but it's quite impractical. Mostly because the dog and cats sleep on them all day which makes them dirty and smelly.

So what I really want to do is go and watch my autos wafting in the breeze from the fan, but the lights aren't on yet and I really should get something useful done. It's not been a bad day weather wise. Sunny, but now it's getting cold. Looked at the outdoor temps... 2 degrees right now. It's warmer in the groom than in my house, shame there's not enough room for me.

Thinking about it, typing a cv won't take much more than a hour or two, if that. So I'll probably spend most of the evening THCT'ing.... I'm clearly not ready to do this damn thing yet, I need a kick up the jacksy.

06-12-13, 04:51 PM
Totally lost the knack of sleeping now. I'm still awake at 0330 and I can't wake up until almost 1000. I did it yesterday and today. That meant I missed my signing on appointment this morning. I left them a message but I guess they'll let me off the first time. Also, I think I've claimed too early anyway, 'cus I'm on notice officially. I blame it on Nelson Mandella dying and the storm surge, there was too much news and the sleeping tablet I took at 2200 did fuck all. I'm seriously considering going right through, staying up all night and the following day to try to kinda reset my circadian rhythm.

The cv is 80% there, it took me all fucking day yesterday and it's still not finished, no point in rushing to get it done now, I'll just make sure it's ready for Monday. Besides, I've got to write a snotty letter to my old boss now... put the willys up him a bit. Decided that it's much harder to present yourself to the world when you're living in a messy dirty house, so cleaning my place up for a change i's not time wasted. I did waste time making a gas and electric usage spreadsheet and justified it by telling myself it'll help me worry less what my outgoings are. Good to know when you're heating an outbuilding groom and burning an hps for 18hrs a day.

The old homestead is looking and smelling much better now I've steamed the carpet and got clean curtains up. The smelly bit on the carpet appears to be some stale dog vomit (mmm). The stink coming out of the steamer made me reach... I hoovered it, scarified it, hoovered it again, steamed it, soaked it with Vanish, steamed it again, hoovered it again and Febreezed it - and the smell is almost gone - huzahh!

The grow is looking nice, this is the first day of week 8, so day 50 overall. Black Cream is winning the race of the autos buy a country mile, remind me to get some pics up... Pyramid Anubis is next, she's flowering away and is a bigger plant than BC. I'd say PA is at least a week behind BC. Silver Bullet is unfortunately having a bit of a stretch and has only just gone into flower. I've had to raise the other two up on blocks to get the light even over the three canopies. If BC finishes promptly and I can get PA out of there shortly afterwards, SB will have plenty of space to finish nicely. I'm liking these autos and I'm liking the coco too, so I'm quietly planning to crack a few more beans towards the end of this grow. BC will definitely be making another appearance since she is sooo damn quick compared to the others. I wonder if it's because I seriously damaged the main stem a week or two ago. It survived, knuckled up a fucking treat but it was very much touch and go. Even the top is fully intact, but I wonder if the stress has made her speed up, or if they're just fast fast fast. I'm keeping the 400w on for 18hrs and the temps are pinned to a minimum of 18c. There's a 35w tube heater in there running all the time and there's an electric heater for lights off or if it gets really cold.

Having said coco is a piece-of-piss, I'm having a think about run-off and flushing. They are all at different stages so it's hard to mix a batch of nutes to suit all three - they're having individually mixed feeds atm, but 5Ltrs a day in a 20Ltr airpot feels about right. The run-off mixes together on the tray before I can measure it but I've noticed that what drains off has a higher ec than the nute solution, mostly because I've not actually measured it before... Last night they had a night off, the night before they had pH'd water and a tiny bit of PK to an ec of 1.0, so I'll try that again tonight and measure the drippings. I'll catch up after that.

07-12-13, 03:21 AM
So that was ec 0.8 going in and 1.8 coming out... pH is up just 0.1 or so. I even washed the tray off with warm water brfore I started. I'm not buggering about with distilled water - the plants look fine and I'm not THAT interested. Cal & Mag is likely to be my next hurdle. £20 should get me some and a top-up of pH down, just in case. It's a proper bummer when you run out of pH down - I imagine, it's never happened to me!

10-12-13, 11:12 AM
I gave those plants a night off the juice on Sunday, Saturday night only pH'd water went in at ec 0.8 and came out at ec 1.5 - that's good I guess. Last night I gave them 10Ltrs between the three, pH’d to 6.2 at an ec of 1.2 and it came out at ec 1.6. The differential between what goes in, and what comes out is reducing, so I’ll try them at ec 1.4 tonight…

Took the weekend off the stressing, it did me the power of good. My appetite has returned and I'm starting to look a little less like a corpse now. Scrumquat and I went for a lovely walk by the river on Sunday, it was beautiful in the winter sunshine and we found one or two good outdoor sites, nice and close to home. I've had a crack at sorting my sleep out a bit too, managed to get out of bed at 0745 yesterday, despite gong to bed after 0100. However, I was still awake at 0300 and got up today at 1000. I must try not to let this slip… slippery sleep.

Actually the reason I wanted to get up yesterday is because I was looking forward to writing a nice letter (using better grammar than he did) to my old boss, spelling out precisely where he fucked up and what I intend to take him to task over - unless he buys me off. It took me all day to hone it, but I’m happy with it. TWAT! Why, why, why must people try to fuck me over? NEVER, have I backed-down, quit, let-it-slide, walked away, given-up…. My letter coveys this in no uncertain terms and I’ll be posting that by recorded delivery with great relish.

The dogs sore patch is looking better, she’s not chewing it any more and she’s snoring happily at my feet. I should probably feed the old mutt – once I’ve updated this – give her the tablets and put her cream on…. Nothing’s too much trouble for my old-lady, we’ve not got much time left together because she’s now 15, but we’ve got a good lot of life memories to look back on. I think she dreams those memories now, during her daily 22hrs of sleep.

They’ve sorted the street-lights out in my street. We’ve now got them going off at 0000 and coming on again at 0500. I have to say, I approve of this and dread the day they abandon it because of come crime spike or other. The main reasons I like this is for the birds, they think it’s dawn and start to sing. I hope this stresses them Thrushes and Blackbirds much less and will be good for wild-bird populations, also I love looking at the stars at night. It’s great being able to do that now in my own garden without the constant orange-glow. It’s really strange at Scrumuats house. It’s never dark there, you don’t need the lights to go to the loo at night because she lives on a corner, right next to a one-way system. So there’s loads of lights there, and when they all go off at 0000, even the road-signs’ light goes off. I've never seen it so dark in her garden – there might be hope for a grow there after all… but now we must turn our thoughts to job-hunting, ffs!

A little bonus found me last night though - I discovered the local water companies analysis pdf of the tap-water. It turns out that the hardness of the water is due mainly to two elements dissolved in it. Yep, Calcium and Magnesium. No need for another bottle from the grow-shop then, and that'll explain why I've not suffered those defs.

11-12-13, 02:15 PM
Time for a Tarot reading: I want to know what my next move should be... I'm procrastinating like I've never procrastinated before, I've spent hours this morning just wandering around my house and on the net. Something feels like it's blocking my progress, either that or I am actually being lazy and wasting time. After all I've got shit-loads to be getting on with.

So I brew up a cup of my favourite green tea, get a spliff on the go using my scarab ashtray, and do my special shuffle; what's my next move...

Knight of Pentacles
Three of Cups (upside down)

The three card reading is the one I use all the time and I try to blend the interpretations together... rather than take each card individually.

I always hate seeing Court Cards, just because they are so hard to interpret correctly. There's so much to take in with these court cards and most of it is likely to be irrelevant. A Major card is always nice to see, the Majors are powerful cards. Upside down cards can be read in a number of ways - let's see what I get.

Actually this guy isn't hard work at all. The Knight of Pentacles represents movement and action as all the Knights do. However this fella is the slowest and most plodding of the four, his horse is stationary without a single hoof off the ground as the Knight stares thoughtfully at his Pentacle, which could represent finances in some way. He's not to be taken as a lazy Knight though, he represents endurance and consistency, albeit at a very steady pace. If he was upside down I'd say laziness but he's ok there as he is.

The un-blindfolded, female figure of Justice sits on a throne, in a position of authority holding the scales and sword of justice. She would represent impartial fairness and a return to equilibrium. She can be either a 'good' or 'bad' card (if there were such a thing) but she is always evens things up to how they should be - I could use a bit of that tbh.

Three of Cups shows three scrumptious young hotties making a toast, or dancing in celebration with flowers scattered at their feet. Only these bitches are upside down. Their cups empty into the sky before they've enjoyed whatever is in them and the flowers fall from the ground into the air around them - pretty, but disorientating and confusing. Which is not too good, however apt to my situation. Growth and progress are halted, possibly due to naval-gazing and over indulgence - damn you, bloody know-it-all cards!

So. I'm feeling like this; can't seem to get off my butt and make some progress... I just can't seem make something happen. Justice sits with that 'couldn't give a toss about you' expression on her face, right in the middle of the spread. Who can tell if this is anything to do with the letter I sent my old boss yesterday? It is on my mind today and I'd love to be a fly on the wall when he reads it. Either way, the young fella-me-lad sat on his horse, looking at his big shiny coin without seemingly making a lot of progress is likely to represent me (I don't often get the chance to read the cards for others, but I'm only too happy to do so, if anyone would like a reading), but he's up the right way so he's cool and he's getting there. Just in his own time... The double whammy of wondering how my letter is going down, sitting on my arse trawling through the internet and wondering what I'll have for dinner. Smoking joints and drinking red-bull all the while... sitting on my horse seems to be acceptable - even if it feels painfully slow today, we all know things can change in an instant.

18-12-13, 12:26 PM
Things are beginning to move along now. I'm still not feeling it really though, my motivation has gone out the window for the time being. It must be cold out there, I wish it'd come back for more than a few minutes at 0200 in the morning.

Dear ole Dad put his hand in his pocket for me again on Friday. The Urban Assault Vehicle is on it's last legs, 140k miles, the tax runs out at the end of December. The MOT isn't due until the end of April but the front suspension makes some disconcerting knocking sounds on bumpy roads. It still drives ok, feels solid on the road, but it sounds dreadful. So on Friday 13th we zoomed down to the South coast and purchased a new Urban Assault Vehicle!!!

A nice innocuous old gits car. No-body notices cars like this - suits me fine. Another estate car, the old git that owned it only did 3k miles a year. Everything works and fuck me is it quick! I'm used to normal cars, this one's got a TURBO! I booted it once on the way back - bad idea because it was wet. The wheels span up in the first three gears and the traction control lights all came on, so I aborted my little test and carried on normally. A moment later looked down and thought 'hey! Where's all bloody my petrol gone?' I'm going to drive it gently I think.

Trying to sell the old one now. Someone will take it I'm sure, Someone who doesn't mind fixing the play on the front suspension. They'll have a good car overall, say what you like about Ford but this old 1999 Focus has done me well. The build quality is almost as good as BMW in my opinion. Loads of interest from Gumtree. Timewasters and no-shows are annoying though. So it's all clean and ready to go to a new home, if not I'll scrap it, that would be a shame though.

I managed to get my arse in gear and start looking for work - I'm really not feeling Christmas at all, I guess it'll come to me shortly. The job hunting has yielded some interest, so I've got my hair cut, ironed my best shirt, polished my shoes and fished out my smartest suit. My mobile hasn't stopped ringing, agencies getting all excited about some 'new meat' and some interviews are in the offing... as soon as I can be arsed to return all the calls I've been getting.

No word from the old boss... yet. Hopefully the letter I sent has got him worried, but not so pissed off that he doesn't pay me at the end of the month. I'm skint!

The grow is going nicely:


I should be chopping the one on the right, Black Cream, early early in the New Year. Just trying to judge when to start the flush - I'm asking Zip if he's got any hints 'cus autos finish at different speeds, it's hard to know when to stop the nutes. So (I guess) that'll be 72 days for Black Cream - I'm chuffed with that. The Pyramid Anubis probably about a week later and the Silver Bullet is looking like it's going to need 90 days minimum. Hopefully the smoke will be acceptable. I've only smoked auto once before and it wasn't great (maybe 'cus I grew it), but my green-thumb is greener now than in was back then.

Energy drink consumption is still up at 1 Ltr a day, Asda is about the best bet for this. £2 for 3 Ltr - it's all that keeps me going most of the day, goodness knows what it's doing to my insides! Food intake is MUCH better but the timings are really fucked up. I'm eating dinner at dinner-time, breakfast before I go to sleep and energy drink when I get up. Perhaps lunch might be a good idea... I could even have it at lunch-time! Maybe that'll help get my sleeping back under control. Still not knocked fags on the head, but that's on the list. Finding out what happened to my JSA application would be good. Christmas shopping needs doing, housework, Tarot readings to do... my old pal Manny is next, on a pm. So loads on the to-do list and all I could manage yesterday (including the early hours of this morning) was hair-cut, car clean, job-agency registration interview, salmon pasta-bake (mmm) and had a good tidy up in the garage. <- actually, that's not too bad, things are moving along.