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Biffo the Bear
18-07-07, 06:21 PM
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to Peeved". Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "a bit cross." Londoners have not been "a bit cross since the blitz in1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresom" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

Also, the French government annouced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability .

It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loundly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish Navy can get a good look at the old Spanish Navy.

This made me laugh so i thought i would post it up!
Lets us know what you think?

Bad Muthafucka
18-07-07, 09:03 PM
That's hilarious, though I must admit to a touch of disapointment when you revealed you didn't write it yourself. Unless you made yourself laugh... I crack myself up all the time.

You know what makes me laugh the most about war (that I can think of at the moment) is the fact that the Irish referred to World War Two as the Great Emergency.

Oh yes, the world is at war, there are atomic bombs being dropped for the first time ever, millions are dead and millions are dying and the Irish dial 999.