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Thread: i'm a loner stoner

  1. #1

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    Default i'm a loner stoner

    I've been smoking for a few years now, and it took a while to get used to, but now i do like to get get high, but there's something that always bugs me. This might seem silly...
    When i smoke with a group of people, or im high in a public place, or even if i'm only with one other person, my mind goes into mega over-thinking mode. I can't stop worrying, and thinking, and being so self conscious (am i saying 'like' too much? was what i just said weird? am i acting normal?) and other people get on my nerves more (ew i can hear how dry his mouth is when he talks, oh my god just stop talking, why are they so rude?, etc...)
    My brain just fills with rushing thoughts and i try to stay calm and not over-think, but its very hard for me. I get paranoid, and i always get so scared that i'm not acting normal, and i'm not normal, and the people i'm with might think i'm a weirdo, or they're too cool for me, and i'm not one of them... I also feel emotionally numb when i'm stoned around people, for example, with people i love, i feel nothing.
    Lately there HAS been some really really good times when i'm high with someone, (my boyfriend), and those times have been nice, i haven't over-thinked as much, but it's still kind of there.

    Thing is, I really love to get high by myself. When i'm by myself I don't feel paranoid, and i don't feel like an outsider because i can be a weirdo and do what i want and not try to be normal because no ones watching me I just feel like when i get high, my state of mind is a very very personal thing to me, and I can't be around so many people when i'm like that. I guess its like being naked.
    When i'm stoned alone, i keep a big art journal full of random colorful words, and drawings, and paintings. I just sit there for hours in a trance just scribbling down whatever i think or feel, and painting whatever i feel, and drawing whatever i think of. There's some pretty weird things in my "drug diary" as i call it. I don't let anyone look in it, except for my boyfriend. It's like a book full of... my mind.

    My point is, being high is like being naked to me. It doesn't feel natural to be in public, and i get self conscious when i'm with anyone. But when i'm alone, i'm free to just let it all go. haha
    I wish i could be one of those laid-back, chilled stoner type people.. But i'm not. I'm strange. haha :')

    I was just wondering if anyone else is like this at all? Does anyone else get this?

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  3. #2

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    happened to me a few yrs back..... the best advice i can give you to cure ur mad thoughts of paranoia is take a big bong or bucket of high grade green and get yourself down to a shopping center on xmas eve

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  5. #3
    Cuda Guest

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    I'm like that too, if I'm with strangers or lots of people or just not in the right frame of mind.

    I actually have a mate who is a fellow farmer and he don't believe I smoke it because whenever I go to his house I refuse a smoke because his bird does my tits in and I know I'll freak out lol

    Just enjoy what you enjoy and try to stay calm when your freaking out inside. I always say stupid shit when I'm high and always think to myself "why the fuck did you just say that" lol
    Just ride with it

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  7. #4

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    When I first started smoking about 20 years ago I used to get the whole am I saying/doing anything I shouldn't and feeling slightly paranoid, esp. when there were friends of friends around who I didn't know too well. Over time I learned to relax and just enjoy the buzz, also when I started smoking I was a pretty insecure person - as I got older my self confidence increased and now I couldn't care less what anyone thinks of me. I am who I am, if someone has a problem with that it's just that - THEIR problem.
    True friends won't take a blind bit of notice of you doing/saying something stupid while you're under the influence, they'll just have a good laugh at it and you might get a bit of ribbing of them but in a good way.

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  9. #5
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    I know some have said they feel the same but IMO....

    Your a nut job, lay off the erbb unless your in a comfy place, Otherwise shit could get serious. If your not enjoying it don't do it, as scrogger mentioned he won't smoke where he knows he'll feel/act like a twat...

    I'd be interested to see your "drug diary"

    Art says a lot about the artist....

    If its all fruit bowls, bunnys and ganja leaves your fine....it's time to worry if its full of gory weird shit

    Best of luck with your sanity...
    Cuckoo cuckoo

    Oh and welcome by the way

    Bunda
    Last edited by Dave-Hester; 01-07-13 at 07:48 PM.

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  11. #6

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    i love getting stoned on my own can chill and get right into films and shit, but i do like to from time to time meet up with others that get stoned always a laugh.

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  13. #7

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    hahahaa bunda

    i'm reserving judgement on the whole nutter thing until we see pix of the drug diary

    in all fairness though, if you get para around others then don't smoke it around others, and the paranoid train of thoughts are probably just like trains, get off at the next stop and take your mind elsewhere lol
    Take my advice!!!... I never use it anyway...

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  15. #8
    Cuda Guest

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bunda-Erbb View Post
    I know some have said they feel the same but IMO....

    Your a nut job, lay off the erbb unless your in a comfy place, Otherwise shit could get serious. If your not enjoying it don't do it, as scrogger mentioned he won't smoke where he knows he'll feel/act like a twat...

    I'd be interested to see your "drug diary"

    Art says a lot about the artist....

    If its all fruit bowls, bunnys and ganja leaves your fine....it's time to worry if its full of gory weird shit

    Best of luck with your sanity...
    Cuckoo cuckoo

    Oh and welcome by the way

    Bunda
    Does that make me a nutter too?

    Cause that would explain why they won't let me out of this straight jacket lol

  16. #9

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    I disagree with Bunda-Errb about all this strongly; I don't think he read your post properly. I almost always get stoned alone at the moment because for me, it's a very private experience. It's not that I couldn't be comfortable being under the influence, with the right people, it's that the way I want to be and the things I want to do when I'm ganjified are like that: things I'm better off exploring on my own.
    The truth is cannabis isn't just a social, hanging-out-and-being-cool drug, the private side of dope that you're describing is enormously important as well. I love that you keep a bookful of your mind, and that it's full of colours and pictures as well as words. I think this is an excellent way to do this thing.
    I don't know how young you are, but you sound young, and it's natural -- to put it mildly -- that if cannabis releases your creativity, your mind, that you're going to be uncomfortable around other people, because in society you can't be too spontaneous or someone will take the piss, or just genuinely think you're weird. I don't blame other humans for that, it's just the way the thing usually is. In time you'll probably become more comfortable doing this around other people. But if you never do -- so what? You've got this lovely thing that you can do all on your own; or with people you're very close to.
    Respect

    Stirruphead

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  18. #10
    Dave-Hester Guest

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    Quote Originally Posted by Stirruphead View Post
    I disagree with Bunda-Errb about all this strongly; I don't think he read your post properly. I almost always get stoned alone at the moment because for me, it's a very private experience. It's not that I couldn't be comfortable being under the influence, with the right people, it's that the way I want to be and the things I want to do when I'm ganjified are like that: things I'm better off exploring on my own.
    The truth is cannabis isn't just a social, hanging-out-and-being-cool drug, the private side of dope that you're describing is enormously important as well. I love that you keep a bookful of your mind, and that it's full of colours and pictures as well as words. I think this is an excellent way to do this thing.
    I don't know how young you are, but you sound young, and it's natural -- to put it mildly -- that if cannabis releases your creativity, your mind, that you're going to be uncomfortable around other people, because in society you can't be too spontaneous or someone will take the piss, or just genuinely think you're weird. I don't blame other humans for that, it's just the way the thing usually is. In time you'll probably become more comfortable doing this around other people. But if you never do -- so what? You've got this lovely thing that you can do all on your own; or with people you're very close to.
    Respect

    Stirruphead
    I didn't read the post? Ok... Lol

    I read it twice, Relax, get stoned and enjoy life...why would you smoke it if it makes you all spastic? I wouldn't/don't.
    I smoke where/when ever I want, I'm comfortable with being stoned in public 24/7 and I love it. It makes dealing with everyday dickheads a lot more tolerable.

    If I started to think "am I normal" or "am I weird" "why did i say that?" "word vomit" then I'm guessing that's the start of an underlying problem and would take that as the first sign that I'm a nut job and leave cannabis and any other drug well alone, unless I'm in my own gaff and know nothing's going to make me be all weird.

    Disagree all you like, it's the truth.

    Good day

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