Snakes and ladders anyone? I could use a game right now...
I've been here before and although I'm not an overly avid THC'er, I've stuck around and the community here have helped me before. When I thought I had nothing (I didn't have nothing, I was being waaay too dramatic at the time) I sat by my fishpond in the sunshine and forced myself to think; what have you still got? Let's think positively, the guys on THCT came through for me then and things didn't feel so bad.
It's happened again! My boss turned into a total penis and made me 'redundant'... yeah right. 'restructuring'... yeah right.
I seriously need to address this issue;
Is it me? - I can accept that it could conceivably be faults on my part, if it can be objectively demonstrated.
Can we blame weed? - With any luck... no. I seriously doubt it, but then I would.
Here's a brief run-down of the situation, down on the ground in the long grass where Snake lives.
Health.
Sore back, tired... oh yeah; HIV, er... depression, asthma. Not bad really, we can work with that. If you've not got your health, you really are in trouble. Look after yourself stoners, I'm serious.
House/Mortgage.
Well I've still got a roof over my head, many people both around the world and in my town can't say the same. It turns out I've got an overpayment on my mortgage and it's worth about 7 months of repayments... fuckin' bonus! That should keep me warm(ish) and dry, with somewhere to keep all my stuff until I can land myself a new job.
Finances.
I discovered my outgoings have been exceeding my income, not my much, but for about 9 or 10 months. Enough to slide right up to my overdraft limit at the exact moment I became jobless. It couldn't really be much worse. Credit card, yep; holiday in January. I don't have any savings.
My M&D saved my useless arse here. They bailed me right out and they can't afford it since they retired. I feel terrible, I'm so ashamed, I love them so much and they taught me better than this.
The bloody dog decided to have a skin infection too and Mum just took us to the vets and got it sorted for me... right now I don't feel as if I deserve parents like this. I'm 38 ffs! I should be able to do this. I've been trying to figure out why, I think it's because I've not had a stable relationship - ever. Right from the age of 25, I keep going back to being 20 and living those five years again. Instead of having a stable relationship for that period, where you have shared goals and something to aim for together. I've been going on benders and partying it up for almost 20 years when I should have been consolidating my situation (now ya' tell me!). Truth be told, I'm the luckiest man walking this earth to be here, now with what I have got - I've always thought myself luckier than most despite my woes.
I've still got my Scrumquat and we do have plans to move in together, rent my place out and.... who knows. My Brother and Sister are brilliant as are their respective spouses. My little Niece just turned 1.
I don't have any friends. I'm a bit of a misanthrope there - most people annoy me with their proudly displayed stupidity and conspicuous over consumption of luxury products and services. So you see that THCT is important to me, even if I'm not around all the time.
Any tips from anyone who's been this way recently, benefits and stuff I don't have much of an idea about. I've signed on and we'll see how that plays out. I'm gonna touch up my cv tonight and tomorrow, then get it out there. I don't imagine there will be a lot doing before Christmas, but I might be able to get some seasonal work.
Of course I've got a grow on the go, three plants, auto strains in coco under the 400w with the parabolic shade. they are in their seventh week - maybe 47 days. I've had to tweak the temps down to 18 degrees to save a bit of consumption - I'm wondering if I should reduce them from 18hrs of light... or worry less.
It really isn't ALL bad - we knew Bob was right; every little thing, gonna be alright.
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