Tell us your best "almost got caught" story

[The Solyom]

I was working on a show (remember them?) a few years back for a podcast festival. Got everything set up and went out the back lane for a little toke while it was still quiet. Little did I know the act were being brought in the back door, usually they go in the front if it's before doors. Next thing I heard an American accent saying "oh I recognise that smell". I dived behind a bush and hid.

The reason: The podcast was called "Capturing Pablo - An Evening with Steve Murphy & Javier Pena."

LOL. I feel you need to improve your spliff timing

[MrC]

When I was 15 the bird I was goin out with gave me a blowjob in the back of her mums car on the way bk from Wales lol, most uncomfortable eye contact ever in that rear view mirror

[PinkZeppelin420]

I was a guitar instructor during my college years and one of my students came to my home for the lessons. I had a visible bong which i forgotten to remove. I asked the dude his occupation and he said he was a cop. He didn't give me any trouble so he was cool !

[sapf0]

Motorbike was nicked. Police knocked the door. Mrs let them in, but collapsed in the stairs when they shouted "Its the police!" though letterbox. She let them in, but as she walked into the lounge, and the only time I've EVER left my curing jars downstairs, she saw the jars. She grabbed my bike jacket, and chucked it on top, not knowing if they were under or not. Old bill there talking to her before I came down. The 2 coppers were literally 4ft from 30oz in my jars.


Moral of the story is that jars are our tight, and hide the smell ;-)

[WnbProGrower]

I was at Bulgaria with my friend and we went to beach at 2AM to smoke a joint. For real when we sit down and friend light that joint. i saw three guys walking towards us. I told my friend to bury that joint into sand because i was smoking cigarettes.. Well he didn't... thats okey but what happend next was something not so funny atm.. Those guys were security guards with radiophones etc.. They started to say that they want 500 levas or they will call police. They hold my friend and told me to go back to hotel and get the money.. i had 10minutes to get that money.. First thing i do was take one alcoholic drink instead of water from my backpack and started to run uphill like 2km and back to the beach. It took like 30mins for me to do that and they called over 10times if i am coming back or not Got the money and went back to beach and gaved money to them. They count it, thanked us and gaved that joint back to us and told not to smoke here.......

[e11]

Going over to Ireland for work for a week and waiting for the ferry. I’m about 6 cars down in one of the rows. I didn’t have a lot just enough to have a small spliff each night in my case that was in the boot, and this police guy is wandering down. I’m not looking but I can sense he stops at my side. He gently taps his torch or whatever it was he had on the window. I’m thinking this is it, I’m done for. I’ve seen guys have their vans with gun clubs searched, I had seen HGVs opened up with sniffer dogs at the side before so I have seen some cars getting searched (even myself when waiting to go in on a previous occasion by the actual ferry staff - which was opening the boot and showing them what was in these sample cases, certainly no intense search or anything) but always a legit reason to me. I roll the window down, heart going thump thump, thump thump, and the officer asks where I’m going. I tell him where and the hotel. He asks why. I say it’s for work, and after asking me what I do I then go on a rant about what it is that I do and how I hate the job and actually looking for something else. He then tells me how there’s not much out there and tells me to have a good day.

I see him walking and a part of me just thinks this ain’t over lol. But thankfully it was. That was actually my last trip over before leaving that job. I was definitely singled out. Young guy, driving a brand new car, which was a company car but I just didn’t look right in it at all and if the officer had any inkling that I was maybe selling or shifting anything to get a car like that then maybe he’d ask for me to open up or maybe he seen the no smoking sign and lease plan sticker on it as soon as I opened the window when he stuck his head down to talk but whatever the reasons I was glad in the end.

Wouldn’t do that again now. Easy enough to get in holiday abroad, and you can just leave what you don’t smoke

[Sir Digby Chicken Caesar]

When I was 20 I was visiting a friend at his college campus (same city I live in). He had some work to do in the computer lab. Being bored I asked him where I should go to toke. "Just smoke in the bathroom, no one is around." Nah. Sounds too risky, so I opt go outside.

It's dark and raining pretty good. I tuck into a spot aside the building, under a concrete awning, and spark up a joint.

About halfway through I'm feeling buzzed and all is groovy in the universe. Then comes the flashlight, from around the corner about 20 feet away. I froze for a couple, but then flicked the joint away. Amateur move. Shoulda Nom nom nom'd....
I guess my aim wasn't all that, as the joint bounced off a brick wall to my right and landed about four feet in front of me, burning like a champ.

The cop was already addressing me at this point, and to be fair it all looked pretty shady. The real problem is me not knowing if my friend would get booted from school once the truth was told.
He wouldn't have...

So playing stupid I just say something like, "just trying to stay dry until the rain passes." Yup. Turn around...

To be fair, it was a bad neighborhood, and the campus had problems with some locals. I figured he thought I was waiting to rob a student.

That little joint turned into two years probation with drug testing.
I'm 20, so of course I violate probation. Missed PO appointments.
I get summoned to court. The judge is not a happy man. He says I'm going for a drug test that day. If I pass, I'm free. No more probation. If I fail, 3 days in the house of correction.

Luckily I got to go to the test center by myself. So a mad dash to my buddy for a urine donation. Poured some in a pill bottle and heated it in the microwave. Popped the bottle in a thermos and off to the test. Still didnt know if my test would be supervised at this point, just living on hope. Thankfully I ended up in the bathroom alone. Test came back clean. Got lucky with the temp.

So I guess I got caught, but then I didnt.

[Doink]

Not really a nearly got caught story but it is weed related. Few years ago I went to buy some weed but got lost due to a misunderstanding on my part anyway I was walking around for ages and the guy was getting impatient, thankfully I saw a couple of police walking ahead of me, so I approached them and asked if they knew where this particular street was. They were very helpful, it was about 5 minutes away

[V8]

So many year ago when i lived in a big appartment block i had this perfect spot outside like 150 down the road and kinda sitting next to the bus stop in the woods on a perfect stone shaped like a chair. Smoked here for years. I knew the bus rute in and out. Every 30 min! xD

But 1 day as i was sitting there halfway down my J, 2 fucking cop cars pulled up to the bus stop. Stood there for like 3 min without doing anything then they fucking got out and started to rig up to a speed trap............... Im fucking panicking. Only way down is by walking kinda 10m from the cops random out of a dark forrest. So what do i do. I sit still for more then prob 30 minutes. They had 2 traffic stops then they rushed away after.. I NEVER smoked there again!

V8

[Herbitual]

So many year ago when i lived in a big appartment block i had this perfect spot outside like 150 down the road and kinda sitting next to the bus stop in the woods on a perfect stone shaped like a chair. Smoked here for years. I knew the bus rute in and out. Every 30 min! xD

But 1 day as i was sitting there halfway down my J, 2 fucking cop cars pulled up to the bus stop. Stood there for like 3 min without doing anything then they fucking got out and started to rig up to a speed trap............... Im fucking panicking. Only way down is by walking kinda 10m from the cops random out of a dark forrest. So what do i do. I sit still for more then prob 30 minutes. They had 2 traffic stops then they rushed away after.. I NEVER smoked there again!

V8

Reminded me of another one: I was at a party on a beach (ooo...look at me) and all of a sudden, there's a uniformed cop standing over us. I had my hash in my hand and pressed it into the sand as I stared right in the cop's eyes.

She flicked her eyes down to my hand and then back to me and I could see the tips of her mouth start to form a smile.

Blonde, but not in a brassy way, WPC Lucy B. was everything I was looking for. She was smart, well-kempt, and had access to an almost endless supply of hashish and floral cannabis.

We saw each other often and my, how we laughed at the story of hiding hashish in sand.

But the days were short and our time together was tragically ended when she decided on an office role, thus cutting a steady supply of narcotics purloined from people like me...but not me this time.

Anyway, that's a story about nearly getting caught if you didn't know.