Ha ha twat.

[Ironman]

I say we all gang up on Herbitual and get him to run for PM.

We can pull the string from here and he can talk anyone into voting for him I'm sure pmsl

Sent from Thames Iron works

[British green]

in a green and pleasant land

[Herbitual]

I say we all gang up on Herbitual and get him to run for PM.

We can pull the string from here and he can talk anyone into voting for him I'm sure pmsl

Sent from Thames Iron works

As long as there's no public speaking involved, I'm in.

Or lunches with anyone in my constituency.

I don't want to shake hands with anyone either...or have my photograph taken while planting a tree.

In fact, while I'm at it, I'd rather not visit the children's ward at my local hospital, use Twitter to garner support, or start sentences with "Look..." when speaking on local radio (not that I would speak on local radio as this would be classed as "public speaking")

Then there's the skeletons in the cupboard that will inevitably be dragged out when things are going well, like getting arrested for public urination on a roundabout in Gants Hill and the time I shat myself, drunk, on the Underground at Bethnal Green tube station, and dancing, naked, in front of a window after a bath with a dozen of my female classmates playing hopscotch in the road opposite. One does not simply forget these things. To be honest, I'm as likely to remind the voting public of my humiliating past as an online hacker.

Apart from that, I'm in.

[gardro]

As long as there's no public speaking involved, I'm in.

Or lunches with anyone in my constituency.

I don't want to shake hands with anyone either...or have my photograph taken while planting a tree.

In fact, while I'm at it, I'd rather not visit the children's ward at my local hospital, use Twitter to garner support, or start sentences with "Look..." when speaking on local radio (not that I would speak on local radio as this would be classed as "public speaking")

Then there's the skeletons in the cupboard that will inevitably be dragged out when things are going well, like getting arrested for public urination on a roundabout in Gants Hill and the time I shat myself, drunk, on the Underground at Bethnal Green tube station, and dancing, naked, in front of a window after a bath with a dozen of my female classmates playing hopscotch in the road opposite. One does not simply forget these things. To be honest, I'm as likely to remind the voting public of my humiliating past as an online hacker.

Apart from that, I'm in.

Youll be fine, he rogered a pig

[Herbitual]

Youll be fine, he rogered a pig

Oh, and that, too.

[gardro]

Oh, and that, too.

Was it a spit roast?

[Herbitual]

Not sure. The light was off...I could feel teeth though.

[Herbitual]

And the cool, damp end of a dead pig's snout touching my belly on the inward thrust.

[Herbitual]

I'm REALLY not sure about becoming Prime Minister, to be honest.

[Herbitual]

What I can bring to the table, though, is a breezy, variable, Force 8 at times, attitude that swings violently between upbeat hedonism and vicious sarcasm.

Mix this with a joyful can-do spirit that has been knocked out of me by my ex-wife (and that I'm now rebuilding, plant by fucking plant) and let's crack on with the manifesto.

Right?

Right.