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Thread: share ur jokes here

  1. Default

    I met a lovely looking lady in a bar last night...

    I was telling her about my ability to guess the day a woman was born on just by feeling her tits.

    "Really? Go on then try." she said..

    After 30 seconds of fondling she began to lose patience. "Come on, what day was I born on?"

    "Yesterday?" I replied.

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  3. #6322

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    A rather shy young man was lying in bed with his new bride on their wedding night. She asked him why during the 5 years they had courted he had never tried to be intimate or cop a feel between her legs.

    The shy young man replied that he wouldn't dare and his mother had warned him that the thing between a woman's legs had teeth that would bite off anything that touched it. "That's a load of nonsense" said the bride, "we're married now so go on have a look".

    The young man hesitantly moved down for a look. "See", said his wife, "there's no teeth there".
    "No wonder", he replied, "the gums are fucking rotten

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  5. #6323

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    My ex girlfriend had eczema ..





    She had cracking tits

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  7. #6324

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    I went to the zoo the other day n there was only one dog in it.

    It was a shitzu

    Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

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  9. Default

    Last night I walked into the bedroom holding two aspirin and a glass of water.

    My girlfriend said, "What’s that for?"

    I replied, "It's for your headache."

    She said, "I don't have a headache."

    I said, "Fancy a shag then?"

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  11. #6326

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    Quote Originally Posted by IceCalibur View Post
    Last night I walked into the bedroom holding two aspirin and a glass of water.

    My girlfriend said, "What’s that for?"

    I replied, "It's for your headache."

    She said, "I don't have a headache."

    I said, "Fancy a shag then?"
    Love this one

    Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

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  13. #6327

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    Whats the difference between a Scottish sheep farmer and a Rolling Stones song?

    One says...Hey you, get off of my cloud.
    The other says...Hey Mcleod, get off of my ewe

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  15. #6328

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    Default



    Sent from my G8141 using Tapatalk

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  17. Default

    My wife called me as I was sat in the pub last night.

    "I've cooked dinner," she screamed. "And if you’re not home within 20 minutes I'm going to feed it to the dog."

    "Woooah! That's bang out of order," I said. "It's not his fault!"

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  19. #6330

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    Quote Originally Posted by IceCalibur View Post
    Last night I walked into the bedroom holding two aspirin and a glass of water.

    My girlfriend said, "What’s that for?"

    I replied, "It's for your headache."

    She said, "I don't have a headache."

    I said, "Fancy a shag then?"
    Lol saw this other day . Reminded me of your joke lmfao

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