Page 661 of 687 FirstFirst ... 161 561 611 651 657 658 659 660 661 662 663 664 665 671 ... LastLast
Results 6,601 to 6,610 of 6862

Thread: share ur jokes here

  1. #6601

    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Happyville
    Posts
    2,495
    Thanks
    12,700
    Been Thanked: 7,136 Times

    Default

    My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic…
    But I refused.

    If I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.


  2. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to The Solyom For This Useful Post:

    Cleargreen (07-04-20), Easy-T (06-04-20), GEORGE (04-04-20), lipnobody (05-04-20), Loki (04-04-20), M_C (06-04-20)

  3. #6602

    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Happyville
    Posts
    2,495
    Thanks
    12,700
    Been Thanked: 7,136 Times

    Default

    My mate broke his leg so I went to see him at home.

    “How are you mate?”

    “Yeah I’m okay. But do me a favour mate. Go fetch my slippers from upstairs. My feet are freezing.”

    I went upstairs and found his two gorgeous 19 year old daughters lying naked on the bed.

    I said “Your dad’s sent me up here to have sex with both of you.

    They respond “Get away with ya... Prove it.”

    I shouted downstairs “Hey, mate! Both of them?”

    He shouted back “Of course both of them! What’s the point in fucking one?”

  4. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to The Solyom For This Useful Post:

    Adriaanoo (19-04-20), Cleargreen (07-04-20), Easy-T (06-04-20), GEORGE (04-04-20), lipnobody (05-04-20), M_C (06-04-20)

  5. #6603

    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Happyville
    Posts
    2,495
    Thanks
    12,700
    Been Thanked: 7,136 Times

    Default

    You can’t spell advertisements without semen between the tits!

  6. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to The Solyom For This Useful Post:

    Cleargreen (07-04-20), Easy-T (06-04-20), GEORGE (04-04-20), lipnobody (05-04-20), M_C (06-04-20), Vlad the Inhaler (06-04-20)

  7. #6604

    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    6,124
    Thanks
    14,641
    Been Thanked: 18,117 Times

    Default

    I picked up a girl the other night who said she was never in the mood for sex until she’d had a bottle of wine inside her. After a bit of a struggle it turned out she wanted to drink it.

    My bad.

  8. The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Vlad the Inhaler For This Useful Post:

    Adriaanoo (19-04-20), Cleargreen (07-04-20), Easy-T (06-04-20), GEORGE (06-04-20), lipnobody (09-04-20), Loki (06-04-20), M_C (06-04-20), The Solyom (06-04-20)

  9. #6605

    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Happyville
    Posts
    2,495
    Thanks
    12,700
    Been Thanked: 7,136 Times

    Default

    During my check-up I asked the Doctor, "Do you think I'll live a long and healthy life then?"

    He replied, "I doubt it somehow. Mercury is in Uranus right now."

    I said, "I don't go in for any of that astrology nonsense."

    He replied, "Neither do I. My thermometer just broke."

  10. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to The Solyom For This Useful Post:

    Cleargreen (07-04-20), Easy-T (06-04-20), GEORGE (06-04-20), lipnobody (09-04-20), M_C (06-04-20), Vlad the Inhaler (06-04-20)

  11. #6606

    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Happyville
    Posts
    2,495
    Thanks
    12,700
    Been Thanked: 7,136 Times

    Default

    Remember:

    Amateurs ... Built the ark.
    Professionals ... Built the Titanic

  12. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to The Solyom For This Useful Post:

    Cleargreen (07-04-20), Easy-T (06-04-20), GEORGE (06-04-20), lipnobody (09-04-20), M_C (06-04-20)

  13. #6607

    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Happyville
    Posts
    2,495
    Thanks
    12,700
    Been Thanked: 7,136 Times

    Default

    A charity worker stopped me in the street and asked if I fancied taking part in a marathon. I was going to decline but he told me it was for disabled kids and children with severe learning difficulties.

    I thought, fuck me, I might win this.

  14. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to The Solyom For This Useful Post:

    Cleargreen (07-04-20), Easy-T (06-04-20), GEORGE (06-04-20), lipnobody (09-04-20), M_C (06-04-20), Vlad the Inhaler (06-04-20)

  15. #6608

    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Happyville
    Posts
    2,495
    Thanks
    12,700
    Been Thanked: 7,136 Times

    Default

    ASDA to close 120 stores.
    16 checkout operators to be made redundant.

  16. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to The Solyom For This Useful Post:

    Cleargreen (07-04-20), Easy-T (06-04-20), GEORGE (06-04-20), lipnobody (09-04-20), M_C (06-04-20), Vlad the Inhaler (06-04-20)

  17. #6609

    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Happyville
    Posts
    2,495
    Thanks
    12,700
    Been Thanked: 7,136 Times

    Default

    Bought a can of fly spray from the supermarket today. ........ Sprayed it all over myself.

    I still cant fucking fly.

  18. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to The Solyom For This Useful Post:

    Cleargreen (07-04-20), Easy-T (06-04-20), GEORGE (06-04-20), lipnobody (09-04-20), M_C (06-04-20), Vlad the Inhaler (06-04-20)

  19. #6610

    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Happyville
    Posts
    2,495
    Thanks
    12,700
    Been Thanked: 7,136 Times

    Default

    Wife texts husband at work on a cold winters morning:
    "Windows frozen."

    Husband texts back:
    "Pour some lukewarm water over it"

    Wife texts back:
    "Computer completely fucked now."

  20. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to The Solyom For This Useful Post:

    Cleargreen (07-04-20), Easy-T (07-04-20), GEORGE (07-04-20), Greencrack102 (08-04-20), lipnobody (09-04-20), M_C (07-04-20)

Page 661 of 687 FirstFirst ... 161 561 611 651 657 658 659 660 661 662 663 664 665 671 ... LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. jokes
    By dirty dude in forum General Stoners Discussion
    Replies: 26
    Last Post: 06-03-12, 10:02 AM
  2. Jokes!
    By lkdj2003 in forum General Stoners Discussion
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: 24-12-10, 03:50 AM
  3. Bad Jokes!
    By Sativa Steve in forum General Stoners Discussion
    Replies: 32
    Last Post: 16-11-10, 10:48 PM
  4. jokes
    By bunnymunchier in forum General Stoners Discussion
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 08-12-09, 05:01 PM
  5. Jokes!
    By lkdj2003 in forum Music & Multimedia
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 09-02-08, 05:28 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


THCtalk.com Disclaimer - You must be over 18 years old to view/use this site .THCtalk.com does not encourage growing Cannabis or possessing Cannabis. Learning how to grow Cannabis instructions should be for educational purposes only. All Information contained in this web site is for: Historical reference, Scientific reference and Educational purposes only. Visitors to this website are advised against breaking the law as It is illegal to smoke, grow, or possess cannabis in the UK and some US States