Had to think about this for a second. LmfaoOriginally Posted by IceCalibur
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Had to think about this for a second. Lmfao
Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk
CityDweller (16-03-20), Cleargreen (24-02-20), cough (24-02-20), Easy-T (14-02-20), GEORGE (14-02-20), IceCalibur (14-02-20), Trex (13-03-20), Vlad the Inhaler (14-02-20)
I answered the door this morning. A 6ft beetle punched me in the face and called me a twat...
Apparently there's a nasty bug going round!
CityDweller (16-03-20), Cleargreen (24-02-20), cough (24-02-20), Easy-T (29-02-20), GEORGE (18-02-20), M_C (19-02-20), RASTA (08-03-20), Vlad the Inhaler (24-02-20)
"Would you mind waiting for a while?" asked the manager.
"Not at all," I replied.
"Good," he said. "Take these burgers and chips to table 7!"
CityDweller (16-03-20), Cleargreen (24-02-20), cough (24-02-20), Easy-T (29-02-20), GEORGE (24-02-20), M_C (24-02-20), RASTA (08-03-20), Vlad the Inhaler (24-02-20), Wags (05-03-20)
My wife left me so I nicked her wheelchair, she'll soon come crawling back
STICK YOUR SKINS AND SPIN UP
CityDweller (16-03-20), Cleargreen (03-03-20), Easy-T (29-02-20), GEORGE (24-02-20), M_C (27-02-20), RASTA (08-03-20), Subterranean Man (29-02-20), Trex (13-03-20), Vlad the Inhaler (24-02-20), Wags (05-03-20)
I didn't understand what my wife meant when she told me I was holding the bag of pasta upside down...
And then the penne dropped!
CityDweller (16-03-20), Cleargreen (03-03-20), Easy-T (29-02-20), GEORGE (27-02-20), M_C (27-02-20), RASTA (08-03-20), Vlad the Inhaler (04-03-20), Wags (05-03-20)
Just seen Elvis in B&Q...
Returned a sander!
CityDweller (16-03-20), Cleargreen (03-03-20), Easy-T (29-02-20), GEORGE (27-02-20), M_C (27-02-20), RASTA (08-03-20), Vlad the Inhaler (04-03-20), Wags (05-03-20)
To make it easier to identify my herbs, I've been growing them in alphabetical order.
When I showed my friend she said, "How do you find the time?"
"Easy," I replied. "It's right next to the sage!"
CityDweller (16-03-20), Cleargreen (03-03-20), Easy-T (29-02-20), GEORGE (27-02-20), lipnobody (28-02-20), M_C (27-02-20), RASTA (08-03-20), Subterranean Man (29-02-20), Vlad the Inhaler (04-03-20), Wags (05-03-20)
John Travolta thought he had the Coronavirus.
Turns out it was just a Saturday Night Fever...
From behind the bushes
"Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet."
CityDweller (16-03-20), Cleargreen (03-03-20), GEORGE (29-02-20), IceCalibur (29-02-20), RASTA (08-03-20), Vlad the Inhaler (04-03-20), Wags (05-03-20)
My wife said I make love like a painter.
I said, "Like Da Vinci, with smooth strokes, attention to detail and the result of a masterpiece?"
"No," she said. "I mean like the Council. Rush the job, leave a fucking mess everywhere and I have to finish it myself!"
From behind the bushes
CityDweller (16-03-20), Cleargreen (03-03-20), cough (08-03-20), GEORGE (03-03-20), IceCalibur (03-03-20), M_C (03-03-20), RASTA (08-03-20), The Solyom (24-03-20), Vlad the Inhaler (04-03-20), Wags (05-03-20)
CityDweller (16-03-20), Cleargreen (06-03-20), cough (08-03-20), Easy-T (05-03-20), GEORGE (04-03-20), IceCalibur (04-03-20), M_C (04-03-20), RASTA (08-03-20), The Solyom (24-03-20), Wags (05-03-20)
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