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Thread: share ur jokes here

  1. #6281

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    A nun was having a bath when there was a knock at the door.

    "Who's there?" she said.
    "The blind man," came the reply.

    Realising that he couldn't see her she said, "Come in."

    The door opened. "Nice boobs," he said. "Now where do you want the blinds?"



    "Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet."

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    My girlfriend said she'd only marry me if I overcame my ambulance obsession...

    I can't wait to get down on one knee nor knee nor knee nor!

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  5. Default

    A girl sneezed in the pub & her glass eye flew out & landed in my hand.

    I took it back to her & we got chatting. After a few beers I took her home & we had sex.

    When we'd finished I asked her, "Do you shag everyone on a first date?" She said, "No. Only those who catch my eye!"

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  7. Default

    This morning I went into the kitchen to see my wife boiling eggs on the cooker.

    She said to me, "Make love to me right, here right now!"

    I said, "Can't resist me, eh?"

    She said, "No, the egg timer's broken!"

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  9. Default

    I think my wife has started to show the first signs of Alzheimers...

    She said she can't remember what she ever saw in me!

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  11. Default

    I have sex with my wife almost everyday...

    Almost on Monday, almost on Tuesday, almost on Wednesday...

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  13. Default

    My wife watched Fifty Shades Darker with her friends last night.

    When she came home she walked into the bedroom with a leather strap in one hand and a chain in the other...

    I thought, this looks interesting...

    She said, "Here, you forgot to walk the fucking dog!"

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    My wife said that if I don't get off her computer so she can use it, she'll slam my head on the keyboard..

    but I think she's all mouthjfjreoiwjrtwe4to8rkljreun8f4ny8sdfsdfsfsf sf fdg getyrtyit

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  17. Default

    I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday.

    She said, "Nothing would make me happier than a pair of diamond earrings."

    So I got her nothing!

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  19. #6290

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    Quote Originally Posted by IceCalibur View Post
    I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday.

    She said, "Nothing would make me happier than a pair of diamond earrings."

    So I got her nothing!
    How long you been living in the Dog House? lol

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