share ur jokes here

[Spiked]

Q. Did you hear about the blind circumcisionist?
A. He got the sack.

[Spiked]

A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect, and they end up leaving together. They get back to her place, and as she shows him around, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears. Hundreds of small bears are on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones are on a shelf a little higher, and huge bears are on the top shelf along the wall. The man is kind of surprised by the collection, especially because it’s so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her. She turns to him…they kiss…then they rip each other’s clothes off and romp around the room all night. After an intense night of passion, as they are lying there together in the afterglow, the man rolls over and asks, smiling, “Well, how’d I do?” The woman says, “You can have any prize from the bottom shelf.”

[Spiked]

My wife used to say she wished I could be more like her father.

She soon changed her tune when she got home from work one day and caught me fucking her mum.

[dodger1888]

Illegal drug use in the workplace is no laughing matter,

unless you've smoked too much pot.

[carpetburn]

One day a bloke dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the devil...

Satan: "Why so glum?"

Biker : "Why do you think? I'm in hell!"

Satan: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?"

Biker : "Sure, I love to drink."

Satan: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then.
On Mondays, that's all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, Tab, and Fresca. We drink 'til we throw up and then we drink some more! And you don't have to worry about getting a hangover, because you're dead anyway."

Biker : "Gee that sounds great!"

Satan: "You a smoker?"

Biker : "You better believe it."

Satan: "All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world, and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer, no biggie, you're already dead, remember?"

Biker : "Wow...that's awesome!"

Satan: "I bet you like to gamble."

Biker : "Why, yes, as a matter of fact I do."

Satan: "Good,'cause Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt, it doesn't matter, you're dead anyhow."

Biker : "Cool!"

Satan: "What about Drugs?"

Biker : "Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don't mean...?"

Satan: "That's right! Thursday is drug day.. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want. You're dead so who cares."

Biker : "Wow! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!"

Satan: "You gay?"

Biker : "No..."

Satan: "Ooooh, you won,t like fridays then"

[B.A.BARACUS]

Did you hear about the guy that updates his diary everyday??.

Apparently it's a ADHD thing lol

[Cuda]

Did you hear about the guy that updates his diary everyday??.

Apparently it's a ADHD thing lol

Dont get it???

[nuube]

Dont get it???

Me neither.

[B.A.BARACUS]

Me neither lads..

[B.A.BARACUS]

"82 year old famous Australian entertainer living in Berkshire arrested in Savile investigation".

Might as well have just given him a codename of Holf Rarris.