Jesus dies and they call it 'Good Friday'.
It's a bit like when my mother-in-law passed away. That was a 'Fantastic Monday'.
Jesus dies and they call it 'Good Friday'.
It's a bit like when my mother-in-law passed away. That was a 'Fantastic Monday'.
carpetburn (30-03-13)
There are some bars, some grey walls, a toilet and a big black man. Can you guess what it is yet Rolf?
My wife hates it when I say, "You're just like your mother!"
Actually, she hates it when I say anything during sex.
Went to the bathroom this morning & noticed the biggest shit i've ever seen lodged in the toilet.
"Did you leave that there?". I shouted to the wife.
"Yes. It wouldn't flush" she shouted back.
"And you wont do anal?" i asked.
Young Bill was courting Mabel, who lived on an adjoining farm out west in cattle country. One evening, as they were sitting on Bill's porch watching the sun go down over the hills, Bill spied his prize bull fucking one of his cows. He sighed in contentment at this idyllic rural scene and figured the omens were right for him to put the hard word on Mabel. He leaned in close and whispered in her ear, "Mabel, I'd sure like to be doing what that bull is doing." "Well then, why don't you? "Mabel whispered back. "It is YOUR cow."
B.A.BARACUS (30-03-13)
Teacher: "Johnny, can you tell me the name of 3 great kings who have brought happiness and peace into people's lives?"
Little Johnny: Drin-king, smo-king, and fuc-king.
carpetburn (30-03-13), HighTokeinYoda (04-04-13)
A farmhand is driving around the farm, checking the fences. After a few minutes he radios his boss and says, "Boss, I've got a problem. I hit a pig on the road and he's stuck in the bull-bars of my truck. He's still wriggling. What should I do?"
"In the back of your truck there's a shotgun. Shoot the pig in the head and when it stops wriggling you can pull it out and throw it in a bush." The farm worker says okay and signs off. About 10 minutes later he radios back. "Boss I did what you said, I shot the pig and dragged it out and threw it in a bush."
"So what's the problem now?" his Boss snapped.
"The blue light on his motorcycle is still flashing!"
HighTokeinYoda (04-04-13)
I sat on my hand for fifteen minutes earlier, before hoovering the living room.
Just so it felt like the wife was doing it.
Mr Pothead (30-03-13), Spiked (30-03-13)
I like to soak my hand in warm water for an hr before a wank
Makes it feel like my nans doing it
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