share ur jokes here

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I was walking down the road when I saw a woman holding a placard that read; “Women are not just sexual objects – Honk if you agree!” So I squeezed one of her tits and said, “Honk.”

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I was arrested for having sex with a 15 year old girl. I thought she was a couple of years older than that. I suppose that makes two reasons why I’m a bad father.

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This guy was walking down the street and this hooker says, “Say, wanna have a good time?”
“Sure”, he says and they were off to the nearest motel.
She takes off her clothes and he keeps staring at her.
She says, “Is this the first pussy you seen since you crawled out of one?”
The guy says: “Nope, just the first one I’ve seen big enough to crawl back into.

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Charlie marries a virgin. On their wedding night, he’s on fire, and wants some dirty fun so he gets naked, jumps into bed, and immediately begins groping her.
“Charles, I expect you to be as mannerly in bed as you are at the dinner table.”
So, Charlie folds his hands on his lap and says, “Is this better?”
“Much better!” she replies with a smile.
“Okay, then,” he says, “now will you please pass the pussy.

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It has been revealed that the latest research shows more money is now spent on boob jobs and Viagra than on Alzheimer’s research. This means that by 2040, the elderly will all have perky tits and stiff cocks, but absolutely no idea why.

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My missus dressed up as a police woman last night and giggled, “You’re being charged with being good in bed…” After two minutes she said she was dropping the charge due to lack of evidence.

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I knew this girl who wanted bigger boobs, but couldn’t afford proper implants, so she had her uncle make her a false set out of pine. Would be great if I had a punchline to go with that though, wooden tit?

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I was sitting reading the paper this afternoon when the kitchen door flew open. Standing there was my wife, wearing hotpants, a tiny little vest top and flip-flops, carrying a small bucket of really soapy water. Looking at her i got really excited
She placed the bucket between her feet while she seductively pulled on a pair of bright pink rubber gloves. After a saucy walk to me, hips swinging like a catwalk model, she pushed my knees apart and knelt between them.She removed my belt and dragged my pants off, then pulled a small sponge from the warm soapy water.
With expert hands she lathered up my cock and bum-hole, getting me harder and more erect than ever before. Finally, she took me into her mouth and brought me to an orgasm I thought was never going to end.
I must admit though, I was really pissed off.
I honestly thought she was about to wash the car.

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“Do you look at your wife’s face when you are having sex?”
“I did once and she looked really angry.”
“Why angry?”
“Because she was watching from the window!”

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The girlfriend and I had our first shower together today.
She could see I was a little nervous so said “Relax, just do what you normally do.”
So I had a piss.